Recalculating. Don't you just love it when your GPS continues to say "Recalculating?" Or "Make a U-turn." Over and over again at times, at least in my life of travels. Just last month I was traveling to Alcolu, SC (right outside of Sumter, SC) when my GPS took me directly to a bridge that was no more. It had been closed due to the floods back in October. So I just chose to make a right turn, and it continued to "recalculate" me right back to that bridge. So I then decided to take a left turn, same thing. I kept making those u-turns and ending right back where I knew I could not go any further. It was then that I called my friend Karen, the pastor's wife, and said, "HELP?!" Thankfully the sound man talked me through how to get there, and though late, I made it.
That is how life is, isn't it? We think we have our routes all mapped out, and then we find ourselves at a dead-end, and have to recalculate. Proverbs 16:9 says, "The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." As I was facing January, for the first time in over 20 years of ministry not having a Schedule Coordinator, I found myself beating the bushes, working myself into a frenzy trying to fill my concert/speaking calendar. And yet, I felt like a hamster on a wheel, getting nowhere. As Jennifer, my former Schedule Coordinator reminded me this month in a very encouraging email, that she was praying and knew I would be struggling, I finally stopped striving and said, "Ok, God, this is yours. It always has been. YOU are the Schedule Coordinator." I had to make a few u-turns and recalculate how I run things in this ministry office, and come to find out, I don't run them at all. HE does. At 51 years of age, (notice I did not say "old"), I am still learning, still seeking, still stressing, stretching, and seeing God's faithfulness in new ways every day. Sometimes He chooses to use me on a church platform. Other times it is in the bank teller line, as just last Monday one of the precious tellers excitedly shared with me (and Cookie, who is a regular there for their treats) how she had just been baptized the day before at her church. How grateful I am that I was one of the people she knew loved Jesus and would rejoice with her. It may be in a voice lesson with a student who shares some very real struggles and hurts, and then a few weeks later how God has opened amazing opportunities of ministry for her. Or even simply serving in my home church on a Sunday morning as a greeter, welcoming in first time guests. Oh, what a privilege it is to serve Jesus in all areas of our lives. And so I have prayerfully committed, once again, to "Let it Go!" Letting go of the reins and leaving them in the hands of the One Who reigns supreme!
Just as my mother said before sharing her story at one of the last speaking engagements she had before the Lord took her home, "As long as I have breath in this body of mine, I am going to be about the business of telling the story the Lord has entrusted me to tell. Now are you going with me or not?" My answer, "Yes, Mama," and more importantly, "Yes, Jesus." Wherever YOU lead, I'll go.